Friendship
So…due to recent events, I’ve been thinking a lot about the meaning of the word “friendship” recently…As I’ve mentioned before, I moved to Hawaii almost 3 years ago, and didn’t know anyone here except my sister, who I am now estranged from…however, due to the first job I got after landing here, I met Sue.
Sue and I started hanging out…mainly trips to the beach. It was fun. She seemed to enjoy herself, as did I. As time went on, however, I could sense that she was less willing to spend time with me. Not sure why. She kept trying to push me onto another friend of hers, named Athena. It could be because Sue was married, and Athena was single, so maybe had more time…
One time when I had to move, Sue helped me and brought her friend Athena, who I hadn’t yet met. As we all know, moving people is never easy, even when you don’t have much stuff…so I was very impressed that this person I didn’t even know was helping me…I thought that must mean she was a kind person, the kind you’d want for a friend…
So Athena and I started hanging out…soon after that move, it was Christmas, and she didn’t have plans, so I went to her place and spent the night there, and it was nice. We made dinner, played Scrabble, watched a movie…and this became a pattern. I’d go down every couple few weeks, spend the night, it was enjoyable.
This went on for…oh, about 10 months…then, this past October, I had to move (yet again!) and this time it was to the same neighborhood Athena lived in. I noticed a change right away…in that instead of being excited for me that I’d found an adorable one bedroom cottage, with a lanai (porch) and where I could have my 2 kitties for only $600 a month, plus $50 utilities and free wifi, she was naysaying it because I had to take the bus into Hilo for work…I was over the moon!
This was back in October, 2021. Since then, I’ve been taking the bus, with a few glitches, but basically it’s been working fine…and so worth it for what I’m getting…sometimes, though, I DO need a ride part of the way, just 15 blocks up to the highway to catch the bus into Hilo…
I don’t think I’ve mentioned that Athena lives 10 blocks from me…and has a car. I used to have a guy I found on Craigslist that lived even closer and would give me a ride up to the highway for $5. So there did come a time when I needed a ride up to the highway. I asked Athena if she could help me out. She said sure for $10…and she KNEW I’d been paying the craigslist guy only $5.
It is also very hard to get mail here in HI, I’ve found. (Again, think 3rd world country, that’s what it’s like here.) So one time I had some very important mail I needed to receive, so I asked Athena if I could share her P.O. Box. She said sure, just pay half. At the time I was working in an office and making good money, so I said sure.
The price of the P.O. Box is about $200 a year, paid twice a year. So I paid Athena $45 for six months. The next time it came around, my situation had changed. I was making less money, and had less extra cash floating around. So when she asked for another $45, I was honest, told her I didn’t really have it.
This was over the phone. Athena exploded. She had never yelled at me before. She accused me of lying about not having the money.
I was so upset, I hung up on her. Later I texted her, told her how upset I was, and why: 1. Her yelling at me. 2. Her calling me a liar. 3. The fact that I was going to talk to her anyway about the amount of the share of the P.O. Box, considering, in these 9 months, I’ve only received about 4 pieces of mail there…I told her, that would be like someone spending a few nights a month at your house, and charging them for half of the utility bill…she gets mail there daily…I also told her how people I barely knew were giving me rides for FREE, and how she was charging me more than strangers from the internet, and how that doesn’t seem like friendship to me…the whole time the Beatle’s song “I get by with a Little Help from my Friends” running through my head…
Meanwhile, while waiting for a money transfer to go through, recently, I asked a coworker for a loan for just a few days…I’ve only been working there since early November, last year…she immediately says: “Sure! I can give you $200!! I said “I don’t need THAT much!” So she gave me $100…I was only going to ask for maybe $40…and, again, this is a person I haven’t even spent time with outside of work…
So…yeah…friendship…if Athena WAS a friend…well, as they say, with friends like that, who needs enemies?!?
Oh, and one last thing…I don’t miss Athena, but I REALLY miss her sweet dog, who ADORED me, and I adored!!
